The Higher Ground Of NeuroPositivity


When one door of happiness closes, another opens. But often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

-Helen Keller


The dots do connect, but sometimes we are not far enough away from them or they are not far enough behind us. This may blind us to the perspective of seeing how it all fits to get us to the point where we are NOW. Likewise, as we move forward, it is difficult to see the small signs that lead and guide us.

The mind is at work guiding us, but in a process that is not all at once visible. There is a part of the brain that is always seeking and moving forward, at least it is attempting to, if you will let it.

Suppose this issue is making a relationship work rather than just ending it. One of the biggest steps is to take your vision off of what is not working in a relationship and put your attention on what you want. Focus on what is good about the relationship and remove your focus from what is wrong or troublesome. Too often we want something from someone else that actually mirrors something that we want from ourselves but cannot touch.

How do you give to yourself what you’re looking for in someone else who has seemed to close the door on it?

How do you do for you what you want someone else in a relationship to do for you? What is the door you need to open that is your door and your way and your desire that you think would be satisfied if the relationship changed?

What is that door for you? Look at the change you want in someone else or in a relationship and identify how it exists in your own relationship with yourself.

Change in you, in some level, what you want to change outside of you. Just the realization can be helpful.

When we focus on a problem, we often add to the problem because we are thinking and feeling on the same level as the problem itself.

How do you get to higher ground?

The NeuroPositive Method™ is a very different approach that does not diagnosis a disorder, give it a number, and insert you into a counseling or psychotherapy system.  This is different.  It’s a coaching, mentoring, educational approach that doesn’t assume you are ill or troubled enough to fit a diagnostic category.

1. Change your feeling state. Feelings are indicators of what’s going on, but they are far more than that. They can also be chosen. Chose a feeling that you like and go there. We teach you how to do this in our Emotional Gym. You become the master of your feelings.

2. Go to one of your primary strengths. If you don’t know what they are, we scientifically test you and guide you into how only you can use those strengths in your own way. Most folks don’t really know what their own strengths are!

These are two steps, there are more. But just these two steps move your brain to a different place. It is more than just changing your thinking. It draws on your intelligence from different places in your brain and changes your perspective. It plugs into where the solutions are and they are within you.

They are the doors ready to open that have gone unnoticed.

About the author

Dr. William K. Larkin
  • Maureen Fluke

    Choosing the higher ground, how apropos. When we choose to
    see in ourselves what we believe is missing in our relationships and begin
    to change this within ourselves, we then choose to move our vision to a higher ground in our vibration which effects others around us.ANI has given me the tools to use in seeing life as having vast opportunities, and I am the operator to the vehicle of my mind. I am making choices which allow me to not be a victim and to grasp a wonderful sense of knowing life through using the Emotional gym & my strengths. Here is where I honor myself and come to realize that life is constantly changing and in these transitions I have a choice. When I choose
    to make the changes within myself and focus on what I truly desire for the good
    of self, doors begin to close and other doors open. Everything starts to Flow
    in a beautiful understanding of my Vibecore. In this state of mind I begin to
    see life with a joy filled heart that is filled with excitement. In this state of mind I am becoming all that I truly desire, now Life’s possibilities are endless and my
    relationships are not perceived in judgment, but rather in discernment.

  • Joanne E Harrington

    So much of this post rings true for me this week. Volunteer activities that I am involved in are now back in full swing. And true to the goal of staying more fully in the higher ground of neuro-positivity, it seemed like a good opportunity to re-frame the few frustrations I have with a fellow volunteer by using the positive emotion practice to help me shed a different light on my relationship with her. I now have a lighter heart thinking about what she does that makes me grateful. I had forgotten how seeing the positive and staying in that emotion so as to really absorb, it makes all the world of difference in opening new doors to finding a way out of the frustration.

    It doesn’t have to be a seismic shift in perspective I have learned. Just a small shift. That small shift is a big change in expectation for me. It isn’t my nature – yet, to patiently take small incremental steps to create change in the positive direction. It isn’t my nature to accept tiny shifts in others either. Which as I write this provides an example of what I didn’t quite get when I first read …” change in you, in some level, what you want to change outside of you. Just the realization can be helpful.” Got it!

  • Dr. gloria wright

    Well, posting on the blog has been a challenge. Technology has messed with my up spiral. Interesting to watch my reactions to potential “upsets.” It doesn’t really throw me into a down
    spiral, but it does tempt me to say darn.

    I’m a little surprised to see how often little negative thoughts creep in. Never thought of myself
    as a cynic and am not one. It does appear I have a tendency to go to “shoot fire and save

    In examining my beliefs around being positive, I find some resistance to the Pollyanna, goo goo gaga aspect. Thomas Moore, in Care of the Soul, addresses the surface slant we often take on life.
    He advocates depth and analysis and “waiting” for the soul to speak. Guess I’ve been exposed
    to the premise of the “wounded healer.”

    Dr. Larkin gives some practical advise in dealing with toxic relationships. Been there, done that, have those tee shirts. Somehow my life is easier because I am not in a toxic relationship. The “but” is that neither am I involved in a significant relationship. I do believe that who we are is revealed to us through our relationships. Isolation is limited in expanding us. I know I thrive better when I am living in a larger world, not a smaller one. Here’s to expansion!!

    • Joanne E Harrington

      Thank you for providing that lush image ” shoot fire, save matches”. In that we may be kindred spirits. I am a situational optimist. I know it and the Positive Mind assessment confirmed it. I empathize very much with the frustrations technology can bring. I have burned through many books of matches the past few months!

      I am in the process of creating a Website. The detailed instructions have me in the grip of nagging doubt as to my capacity to do this on my own. I like the challenge yet doubt my ability.

      What did you think of the exercises described in our reading this week as a way of limiting our use of matches? What I like about this course is that we have two roles. We are citizen scientists and also test subjects. We learn the technique, figure out what to test, then try it out and observe the results. The calendar exercise inspires me to declare in writing my desire to create the Website. And secondly, seeing this doubt as a CUE to re-frame the doubt into feelings of positive emotions of joy and gratitude has increased the strength of my intention to get the darn site is up and running! Happy learning fellow match lighter or is that former match lighter! Cheers.

  • Karen Pierce

    The ideas talked about in this post are most challenging to me now,and in the past. It is hard to get out of old feeling and believing states. Often for me resentment and obligation take over when things seem to not be going the way I wish they would go. I begin to want others to change.

    It is when I am able to be appreciative of my husband that I can move out of this feeling of hopelessness that my world sucks. It’s funny, but at times it’s easier to do when I see others appreciating him! (Esther Perel, in her book, Mating in Captivity talks about this phenomena.) Expressing my appreciation always
    causes an increase in a flow of peace and contentment both between my husband and I and inside myself. It’s also easier to feel gratitude and more on top of the world. I’m looking forward to this getting easier with the NeuroPositive method!

  • Melissa J Burgess

    It is quite fabulous when you realize that someone else can only strike a cord in you that is present already- positive or negative. It gives us the opportunity to assess how we want to think and feel and go down that path. I feel so blessed to have such amazing people in my life who reflect back to me what is active within me so that I can refocus on what I prefer. Learning about what each of our strengths are has added a wonderful tool for processing challenges that come up and establish new neuropathways for living in an UpSpiral more easily.

Copyright © 2015 The Applied Neuroscience Institute