Separation: The Enormous Cost

Us Them

Separating myself from another person has an ENORMOUS cost.

It is the kind of separation that is in my head and causes me to cast someone out of my inner circle of “loving” into my inner circle of “not caring.”

We usually do it because of anger or fear or both.

We are afraid that we will be hurt by them, and so we put them in a place in our mind that is “separate” from our caring, loving heart.

They are an outsider “inside of me.”

That is separation.

That separation distances us from the knowing and embodying a sense of Oneness.

The more disconnected we are from this sense of Oneness, the more we have lessened our vibration to draw to ourselves the things and people that we really want.


Because our alignment with our real self means being aligned with love.

Love is Source Energy within us, and it is our essential nature.

Forgiveness is not simply a matter of “forgiving and letting go of anger, dislike and disgust.”

Forgiveness is restoring our own inner “Oneness” by not casting outside the inner circle of our love anyone who has let us down, betrayed us, or caused us to personalize their indiscretion, in such a way that we believe that their shortcoming is about us instead of them.

We reduce the power of the “One” within us when we create inner mental “compartments” for the “outcasts” in our lives.

Those inner compartments reduce the vibration which creates our world, and draws rapidly and powerfully to us what we are really wanting.

© Dr. William K. Larkin 

About the author

Dr. Donald B. Johnson
  • Mary Garvey Horst

    This blog article is a reminder to me that this separation is in my head and illustrates how I do cast others out of my inner circle of loving. This concept of the outsider “inside of me” aptly captures what I do when I separate another person from myself through personal judgments, by withdrawing care, and by disconnecting him or her from my associations. I do see how I reduce the power of the “One” by creating these mental compartments and is an internal invitation for both greater compassion and forgiveness.

  • BAM

    Sometimes we read something that we feel was meant just for us, despite the fact that it is applicable to all. Good news is in reading this post, I am listening and taking it in. There is room in my circle of love for everyone, I just have to invite them to join the circle. Today I will widen my circle and I will do it with an open heart.

  • Dr. gloria wright

    So what about “detach with love”? Are we not supposed to distance ourselves from toxic
    relationships? It makes sense that people, often those in our family or close
    to us, who judge and criticize us are just projecting. But is it good for us to
    put ourselves in company that projects and speaks their worst perceptions and
    considers our side of the story, defending ourselves?
    I get the cosmic truth that we are all one. But aiming to live life with ease is not easy
    when we’re being falsely accused.
    I can detach and I can love. It’s putting the two together that I find challenging. This is
    my way of not separating myself from others, but in essence, letting them go
    out of my life and sending them love on their way.
    I just put on Facebook today that constructive criticism is an oxymoron. Constructive
    feedback can be beneficial to both parties. I’m open to and can learn from
    constructive feedback. I’m not receptive to negative judgement and criticism.
    When I see a person take the stance of being a top dog and being right, my
    experience tells me they are not receptive to an open-minded discussion.
    I ask NOT to be judged guilty until proven innocent. I ask to be given the courtesy of being
    innocent until proven guilty – and I give that same courtesy to others.

  • Deborah Logan

    What really works for me lately, is to say “It is” when faced with an arguing, rude or unconscious person. I breathe, and remind myself to become the watcher, realizing I don’t need to attach to the situation. The forgiveness begins first for me for thinking I should engage or defend. Instead, I pulsed love. Yesterday I read something about
    sending love to the other, but I admit when the incident happened, I felt I needed the love first. Like on a plane, put your O2 mask on and then help someone else. I can move on to send forgiveness to the person when I am not off balance. As Dr.
    Larkin writes, ‘believing that their shortcoming is about us instead of them’
    does incur an energetic cost, as the separation is from my higher self.

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