Archive - September 26, 2016

The “Bullies” Of Our Emotional Playground

The “Bullies” Of Our Emotional Playground


Angry twenty something couple yelling at each other

Negative hits of emotion are stronger than positive ones.

This is because negative emotions have usually followed strong negative events, and we learn them more deeply and quickly – the impact in the moment is felt more strongly.

But- and this is a big “but”- negative feelings have less impact and you feel them for a shorter period of time when you have a reservoir of positive feelings. Negative hits do just that- they “hit” in a way that knocks the emotional air out of us. They are quick or they are sudden, and then they grow.

They are the bullies in your emotional playground.

Depending upon the degree of the threat which the negative represents, the hit varies, but negative emotion is stronger in its immediacy than is positive feeling because it is an alarm system. But this alarm system goes off too much and it’s too loud.

Everything is not a tiger or a truck headed in our direction.

A negative emotion screams at us, “learn this now, this is very, very important,” and we do it.

Negative emotion is very linear. However, here is the good news. Positive feeling is nonlinear. That means that the more your reservoir of emotion is filled with the positive, the more readily it will appear, especially when you need it. You can draw on positive experiences and emotions forever, if you will choose to do it.

If you will make positive feelings a low grade, chronic, ambient background, a sound track of your life, it will take over the negative more quickly and the negative will last less and less time.

Think of those times when a negative thought, feeling, or reaction was something that hung around all day long until you slept it off. The antidote to the toxin of negative feeling and thoughts that are unwanted, and the “hit” they seem to give us out of nowhere, is to practice positive feelings.

Rehearse them, live in them, say them, think them, journal them.

Make a list everyday of what you’re grateful for. You don’t have to produce a big load of positivity here. You’re not being asked to be so cheery and bubbly and always so perky that someone would like to stick a cork in your mouth.

As you experience increasing positivity, you are changing, through the neuroplasticity of your brain, how your brain is wired, and establishing the reality of your own neuropositivity. New circuits of learning and being are being built as you do this.

You are tipping an inner scale, something like an inner teeter-totter, and instead of going up and down, you are moving the fulcrum of the teeter-totter so that the emotions with the most weight are positive.

There is NOTHING in your life that doing this won’t affect.

When you get to a positive place, you are much more capable of figuring out what the negative feelings are about, and what to do with them.

You never solve the negatives from a negative place.

© Dr. William K. Larkin 

Copyright © 2015 The Applied Neuroscience Institute