Your soul aches when you are in a DownSpiral of negative emotion and experience because the DownSpiral is characterized by a vacuum. That DownSpiral vacuum has to be filled because it is a vacuum absent of who you really, really are. We compulsively fill a DownSpiral vacuum with anything at hand. Sometimes the closest things at hand are anxiety, worry, doubt, fear, and dread. But we also fill it with a sense of emptiness, the deep ache that we seem not to be able to massage, ever.
The DownSpiral ache is not knowing who you are, not experiencing the “you” that is divine –the part of you that is your essence.
There are a thousand empty spaces in the day when you let your mind just wander. Or you can take over and tell your brain, “Brain, go to gratitude, brain, go to peace, peace, peace, peace.” You can look at the world around you and say, “Brain, go to joy, joy, joy, joy.” You can sit and think of someone you love and say “Brain, go to love, love, love, love,” and you can send that love, as surely as invisible waves travel from one device to another, to someone who needs it.
Your brain runs best in a state that is called “brain synchrony” that most matches happiness. Your brain runs best on “feeling good.”
Worry, which is negative thinking about the future, most depletes the psychic energy that produces brain synchrony. Whether or not you use all of your brain doesn’t really matter so much as where you spend each day’s allotment of your psychic energy. Over time, it is this, more than anything else, that will determine your abiding consciousness. You only have a certain amount each day. It’s part of your biology. Use it well or you get tired during the day and burn-out over the long-term.
Practice feeling the positive states: love, peace, gratitude, joy, and hope. Even if you feel them just a little bit at first, you will eventually be able to feel them more. Every negative is just a cue to go to a quiet inner chant: “Peace, peace, peace, peace, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.” And if you can’t feel it, think it, just keep thinking it and the reality will follow. It has to because that’s what you’re made of.
The only thing that fills the DownSpiral vacuum is you experiencing the “you” that is your essence. Where do you find that? It’s really very, very simple. You find it in your strengths. How do you find them? Also, very simple. Today we can test you and tell you what they are. Once people know what their strengths are they no longer say such things like: “I don’t know who I really I am.” “I don’t know what I really want.” “I don’t know where I’m going”. The start of filling the vacuum of the DownSpiral isn’t in fixing your weaknesses. It is finding and growing your strengths everyday.
Your weaknesses change very little over a lifetime, maybe 3-5%, and then they only change in the face of using your strengths. Your strengths, on the other hand, are infinitely malleable.
Your “soul ache” is that you don’t really know what your strengths are.
It is hard to believe that the most central truth and core of you is love, peace, gratitude, joy, and hope. These realities live at the very core of you. Monks spend years in silence and solitude getting at what lives at their core. Those who practice yoga can spend years getting to the core of the joy that resides at their inner core.
Undaunted by negatives, we know that the core of us is love, peace, gratitude, joy and hope, and we can go from the outside inward and touch that core, uniting the outside of us with these states that are us, at the very core of who we are.
CONTINUING EDUCATION FOR COACHES
1) Comment on the following excerpt from this blog with your own personal testimony:
“Once people know what their strengths are they no longer say such things like: “I don’t know who I really I am.” “I don’t know what I really want.” “I don’t know where I’m going”. The start of filling the vacuum of the DownSpiral isn’t in fixing your weaknesses. It is finding and growing your strengths everyday.”
FOR OUR LARGER BLOG COMMUNITY
1) What experiences or individuals in your life naturally lead you away from the “vacuum” of the DownSpiral and move you more toward an UpSpiral of “feeling good?” Tell us your story.