The Essence Of Growth & Resilience

If you are sad, in a funk, dealing with loss, large or small, there is a space or a clue, if you will look, that moves you forward and leads you on.

It is the question of the next attachments in your life. It is a wondering that looks over the loss and asks, “Where is the opening? What can I make of this? What do I want to become in the midst of this and where do I want to go with this sadness?”

How can I stop and listen, notice, and be still and more attentive to what wants to grow?

Each of us has “TouchStones” stored in our brains that affect your energy level.  “TouchStones” are memories which are big reference points for our thoughts and feelings.

Negative memories are linear and they are managed by the left hemisphere.  The left hemisphere will give you whatever negative memory or collection of them you need to sustain isolating and playing it safe.  The left hemisphere will store your memories of a “door that closed” so that you don’t even consider where a new door could or even already has opened.

Negative memories and their patterns lose their power to create isolation and the host of other issues that comprise structures of blocked, negative energy by the way they are integrated by the right hemisphere.  There are over 100 billion neurons and thousands of connections that are at work here, either holding you back or moving you outward into a healthy exchange with the world around you.

A “TouchStone” can be a positive or negative anchor in our brains.  We tend to make much more use of negative TouchStones in our lives than we do of positive ones.  The left hemisphere of your brain will remember a “touchstone,” particularly a negative one, in a factual way that fits how you use it.  Your right hemisphere recalls a memory within a much larger context, and transforms negative energy into positive, open, and attachment-oriented energy.

How do you get a negative “TouchStone” of a memory that makes you angry or upset over into the right hemisphere so the memory can be healed?

First, make a list of the “TouchStone” memories in your life that you consider negative or that still feel negative.  Then ask one, solitary important question that you are willing to give some time to answering: “What was the good that came of this?” or “what is the good that can come of this?” Then allow your right hemisphere, which is connected to the “oneness” of your nature and to the Universe, to give you the answers.  There are always benefits to negative TouchStones if we are willing to allow the answers to emerge rather than to nurse old wounds.

Give as much energy and emotional play to these answers as you need to move them from the left hemisphere negative list of psychic energy-wasters to your right hemisphere “integrator” of experience.

This is the benefit. You unblock your psychic energy and you become freer and much more able to be in an UpSpiral, where you learn faster, are more creative, and “feel good.”  This increase in positive energy is a “lubricant” that allows your brain to function with greater ease and integrity.

The experience of sadness and loss is a process. Life is a process, and we are also the author of our processes of attachment in life that creates, unfolds, and allows the process of life to evolve.  If we demand that our lives remain fixed, and the possessions, plans, and lives of those to whom we are attached remain constant, we become fixated in a way that turns against the emerging health and growth of our bodies and minds. It is a significant root cause of what makes us ill.

We are made for attachment, and because of that we are often detaching to evolve and move on, even when it seems to make no sense.

Religious practices of detachment from the senses and detachment from expectations can be an important discipline when we are attached to things that will not come through for us– things that will not supply what they seem to promise.

But don’t get caught up in “detaching” from life.

Attachment to the space that occurs in suffering and loss, and attachment to what can come from tragedy, is the process of the ongoing evolution of life.

And our very health, vitality, and resilience in this life depend upon it.

About the author

Dr. William K. Larkin

Copyright © 2015 The Applied Neuroscience Institute