Feelings Are Not Just Thermometers

What Do You WANT to feel?

Are you the victim of your feelings or their Master?

We have been taught that feelings just are, that they have no morality, that what you feel is what you feel and whatever you feel is ok.

NONE OF THAT IS TRUE!

Most feelings are learned reactions that we can change.

Feelings do have a morality.

We hurt and do damage to people when we withdraw feelings and when we use feelings as a tool to abuse.

Whatever you feel is not “just ok.” It can harm you and it can harm others.

There are, for sure, feelings that are indicators and thermometers of where we are and what is happening to us. But that is just one of the functions of feelings.

Every feeling you have isn’t a read on the full truth of what is happening to you.

You can be so used to feeling sorry for yourself that you think you deserve it. You can be so used to feeling bored or indifferent that you think that’s just the way things are.

You’re wrong!

There are five feelings that are actually states of mind.

You can build, develop, and strengthen them, and you can be the Master of using them.

We call it State of Mind Management (SOMM).

These states of mind are states of being.

They are within you. You can tap into them because you were made to feel them and “be” them. They will propel you forward to life and cause you to want to grasp and live life more and more fully.

You WILL NOT find them by FOCUSING on your negative feelings.

You will find them by a decision to grow these positive states of mind and “be” them.

Let’s start with gratitude. Gratitude could change the world. Since greed, selfishness and self-absorption cause most of our problems and create most of our suffering, gratitude is the opposite.

I once had a wealthy doctor tell me in his first session with me that he had nothing to be grateful for while his shiny new Bentley sat in my parking lot. I told him to give me his Bentley for three months and when he started to miss it, we would talk about gratitude.

Now he lives in a state of Gratitude everyday.

He has also learned to live in four other States of Mind at his choice and by his will. They are joy, peace, love and hope.

He practices the disciplines of our Emotional Gym™ and grows his positive emotional muscles (he also goes to a nearby gym to grow and tone his physical muscles.) Both of these gyms of growth are important, but The Emotional Gym™ is the most important.

He has learned to do one simple thing. Here it is, for free, today.

On a scale of 1-10, if 1 is a little and 10 is a lot, he has learned to feel Gratitude by his own choice at a 2 or 3 for about a minute of every hour of his waking day. He can get to gratitude, as a feeling and being state with “immediacy.” It’s right there for him. He has also learned to draw it out for 10 minutes (that’s called duration.) Finally, he has learned to increase the “intensity” of gratitude to an 8 or 9, at his own will.

He does this every day and he is a happy, happy man. He has developed a system of cues that signals him to go in the direction of the predominant moods he wants to develop in his life. And now he’s deeply grateful for his Bentley.

He can do this as well with joy, peace, love and hope. It took some time but it mainly took a decision on his part that he would not be a victim of his negative emotions, that he would be a Master of his positive emotions and positive states of mind and that he would grow them and develop them.

The wonderful truth is that these positive States Of Mind can be trained in your brain. They can be built and deepened with focus and practice. 

You are the architect of your own positive emotions.

It’s just that simple.

About the author

Dr. William K. Larkin

Copyright © 2015 The Applied Neuroscience Institute