Demanding Resolution & A “Fix”

Are you shackled by “fixing?”

Are you resolution-driven?

The notion or mindset of fixing things, particularly personal problems, is deeply entrenched. Its claws are deep in us. 

We’ve been taught that “fixing” and “problem-solving” equal “growth” and “progress.”

The truth is that we are shackled by trying to fix what will heal in the normal process of living “full out,” as fully alive as we can be.

There are things we can change, and we should have the courage to do just that.

But there are things we can do nothing about, and it is turning our minds from them that may be the most healing.

We are a resolution-driven, problem-solving, answer-demanding people, especially when some of the issues that seem to bother us most hang around the longest.

We have been brainwashed to believe that our “issues” and the “issues” of others need conflict-resolution, and we do not rest our negative fixation on problems until they wear us out.

What problems in 2013 have worn you out that you are still carrying into 2014?

We don’t hear often enough that “time will heal.”  Instead, we believe that talking anything and everything to death will bring honestly and resolution…and it does not.

The negative gaze only increases the problem.

It is true that there are some issues that will yield to our personal “fix.” It is truer that many things will not yield to our demand for resolution.

Our weaknesses change very little over a lifetime, but our strengths are infinitely malleable.

Try this. Change your gaze. Change your focus. What works?  What is good? 

What are your scientifically tested strengths? What do you want and what do you love to do that diverts your attention from worry and the driven need for resolution?

From the deepest levels of our RNA in our DNA, we are not made for fixing the negative or gazing constantly at the economic situation of the world.

You would be better off not watching 90% of the television you watch and spending that time doing what you love to do, love to create, and love to explore. If you don’t know, spend that time finding out. You were not created to get your information from the CNN news loop, and certainly not to shrink your brain with the bombardment of the 24-hour negative media.

Television presents you with problem after problem, implying that something should be done, and there is absolutely nothing you can do.

Turn these problem-oriented programs off and find out what is best about you, what you are good at, what you do best.

If what you do best is talk about other people’s problems and how they need to be fixed, consider how much longer you might have to live.

What would like to do with the rest of your life?

I promise you that we can give you scientific tests that will identify your strengths, and if you will cooperate, we can show you how to grow them. Grow your strengths, which are infinitely malleable and they will manage your weaknesses.

It takes practice, for sure, but it’s much better that being driven to find answers and resolutions that simply do not exist at this moment in your life.

About the author

Dr. William K. Larkin

Copyright © 2015 The Applied Neuroscience Institute