From the time we are first out of the womb till the time we die; attachment is basic to our healthy existence. In a world full of the talk of “letting go and letting God,” we are most godlike when we are “attaching.” In fact, the letting go always brings another healthier, better attachment, unless we are fighting our own desire. Finding our desire is a process of attaching and letting each attachment teach us about the next and the next.
Our positive emotions and our strengths lived out teach us most about what we want our attachments to be. This means a ready access to positive emotions. The easy access to positive emotions and States of Mind lets this process flow. Our strengths enable the process. Oftentimes “attaching” is like following a trail with ribbons wrapped around trees. There are stopping points along the way that we enjoy that assure us of the right direction but point us forward to the next place on the path. Insecurity wants to stay at the same tree; secure attachment wants to see what’s around the bend. Insecurity doesn’t like the bend in the road; fear doesn’t like the movement of attachment at all. Fear says, “Don’t get attached, you’ll only have to let go.” Fear also says, “Grab what you can and run away from life. Get it while the getting’s good, because it’s all going to run out.”
What attachment knows is that it is creativity, the synergy of your strengths used over and over and your positive emotions and positive states of emotions felt over and over and over that are going to spring you alive with the next great idea, the next great break, the next beautiful tree with the next yellow ribbon.
Infants who do not attach wither and refuse to be nourished. So do adults who refuse to attach. Listen to the little “wants” inside of you and lighten up to the inner voice of your own desire. You are not here to make anyone else happy, except from the expression of your own healthy attachments. The capacity to attach is rooted in positive emotion and positive plans.