Or Somewhere In Between?
There are times when we are aware that “this or that” caused the emotions we feel. And very often we are sure that “someone” else caused us to feel like we feel.
While we are the cause of our emotions, it is just as true that long existing emotional patterns are hard to control. Memories that are implicit, or prior to our actually remembering, cause deep-seated emotional reactions.
However, the answer to managing emotions may be much easier than we expected. Instead of undoing negative emotions and their patterns, we are going to focus here only on building positive emotions.
We do not ignore negative emotions, but we just don’t choose to live there.
Here what we do choose is to reverse the cause and effect of positive emotions.
We treat positive emotions as though they are the rewards or the outcomes of living in some sort of way.
Something will make us grateful, an event will give us joy, a relationship will give us love, a goal will give us hope, and a pill will give us some peace.
Positive emotions are treated as though they are the results of things on the outside, happening to us in a certain kind of way, and when the stars line up, or our problems get solved, or people line up in a certain way, then the result will be our joy or our gratitude.
Positive emotions are often results oriented, and we get to have them when something happens on the outside of us that creates that response in us.
What underlies all of this is that you have to have a reason to feel positive emotions, and that reason is almost always on the outside of us.
Outside events can be very significant and some are very negatively impacting. That’s true, some are, but all of them are not.
And even for those that are, you will learn that managing your emotional responses and building up a reservoir will make you much more capable of handling outside events.
The key to being able to do this really lies in where you spend the majority of your time– in an UpSpiral or a DownSpiral, or waffling back and forth in between the two.
Learning to live in an UpSpiral of positivity greatly enhances your ability to experience positivity, and positive emotions greatly increase the probability that you will play less to outside events as the “cause” of your feelings. Life in the UpSpiral also gives you the fullest access to your strengths.
In an UpSpiral, there is a much greater probability that you will feel the positive emotions that you choose to feel.
© Dr. William K. Larkin