You’re growing the UpSpiral of your brain, the “motherboard” of positivity, meaning, and a growing sense of personal significance.
Your brain is reorganizing and building a huge new superhighway, and there is a little traffic congestion of your many, many thoughts and feelings everyday.
You’re tired and you want a break, and you want something new, very new, and while your brain is trying to get the superhighway built, some of your other roads are worn and clogged, and being defragged and forgotten. And the meaning you thought you had is slipping through your fingers.
You feel like you’ve hit a brick wall.
Your brain feels scrambled because you’re putting in a new mother board, and it’s only half installed. So you have to rely on the old system, half of which is unplugged until the rest of your mother board is fully installed -that will be about 2 years or more depending upon how much you resist, and get depressed, and hide.
When the superhighway is built and you start zipping across it, who knows what “debris” you will have left behind, but this is all very normal, very predictable. It feels crazy and it feels like the world tastes like dirt.
Everything has lost its savor, like the junk food you used to like that isn’t good for you, and it needs to change.
But that is just part of the new super highway mother board.
One day again, you will zip even faster than before, the sun will rise on a new day, and your real friends will marvel at how wise you have become and how much more sense you make, how you’ve “changed.”
Someone should have told you that this is something like menopause: you can make it really miserable or you can set aside the fear because this is all very normal.
You can’t fully move into your new brain until all the wiring is done, so pulse gratitude while you wait and have some fun, think about what you really want, and see what happens to your brick walls.
I know that you think your past life was difficult, even seen as traumatic, and you may now even believe that you wasted many of those years. But that isn’t the truth, if you will consider that it has been your ride and you’re going to be uniquely wise because of it.
I promise you that your neighbors and friends are going to be surprised. When the new board is installed finally, and new meaning is there and you run it around your brain, you’re going to be happy you went through this growth.
You have to stop feeding the old dogs that really aren’t there, and you have to find some new dogs to feed that give you back what you are now clear that you want.
© Dr. William K. Larkin