The signs all around tell us we’re in full holiday mode. And for many, the holidays bring a sense of dread over gatherings with family or friends.
Does someone you know get on your nerves?
It is amazing that what upsets us most about another person; their habits, their hygiene, their noise, their style of conversation, no matter how upset we get and even if we find ways to let the other person know what bothers us, not much really ever changes over the long run.
Most of the time we are simply reinforcing the behavior we detest.
When we forget about it and choose not to focus on it, amazingly enough it seems that the other person does it less often or less loudly, and along with that, there are fewer people coming into our lives who do the same thing that bothered us.
Try this test.
On a scale of 1-10, make a list of the things that are in your way, the problems, the difficulties, the things that seem upsetting.
“10” stands for life changing and “1” stands for not very significant in the long run, not in our power to personally change or fix.
Try it with the things you’re getting upset about. How significant are they? Just try one thing.
Can you change it? Can you fix it? Is it really that important? In the course of your life, how significant are these things you’re upset about?
Most of what bothers us or gets in our way today are things that we cannot change or are, in many cases, things that simply don’t amount to a whole lot.
What is worth lowering your place in your UpSpiral?
What is worth bringing you down and upsetting you?
What is worth setting off the cortisol and major stress hormones in your body?
What is worth the worry about things that haven’t happened and most likely never will?
What is worth bringing yourself down for- something that will likely look very different by tomorrow and be old news three days from now?
Those things that get us going are not usually worth the stress response we give them.
And they’re most often an appeal to the opposite of our strengths.
In life, our weaknesses change very little over time –even with concerted effort.
A small bit of change can alter a lot of things.
Our strengths, however, are infinitely malleable and as they grow and take over our weaknesses; they are better managed and take the center stage of our lives while weaknesses spend more time in the green room of the drama of our lives.
Neuroplasticity, the continual growth of the brain, is tilted on the side of positivity and growth.
We do not undo the established neuropathways of the brain, rather we grow around them and upon them.
We don’t feed the negatives… we grow our strengths.