You have probably been told, somewhere along the way, that you should change your core beliefs. And then, if you listened, you were probably told to start excavating them, then write them down, then blame someone or something in the past that caused them, and then share them with the group and replace them.
There is another way. Admit to yourself what you really want, then write that down. Keep writing until you have in front of you everything you want. Then look at them all, see what you want to keep and “own,” and throw away the rest of what looked like what you wanted, but really didn’t, or simply cross them off the list.
Put those wants together into goals for the next few years. Keep them loose and malleable, open to change.
Your wants, when you really own them and “want” them and attach to them, will change your core beliefs as you admit them. As you pursue your real “wantings,” your core beliefs bend and change to fit them. If your core beliefs are authentic and workable for you, they will support you in pursuing your wants. If they are not, they will morph into ones that will.
Beliefs follow behavior– when you are clear about what you want. What if what you seemed to want ends up not being what you want? Then you find out what’s next. What won’t work is learning from someone else’s experience. Their experience is their experience and yours is yours, and while similar, it will never be exactly identical.
The long and the short of it is this–want what you want, own it, admit it, attach to it, and pursue it as long as it gives you satisfaction. When it doesn’t, learn what you can learn from the pursuit, and move on.
Core beliefs never really change. They just morph and change until you admit what you really want.
We'd love to hear your thoughts! You may want to consider these questions.
1. What do you want that you deny or that frightens you? What strength(s) do you have which increase your belief you can have it and your openess to receiving it?
2. What happens when you really “want what you want?” How do you feel? Give us an example.
3. When you start to want something, keep wanting it, but have no idea of how you will get it, has it come to you in a surprising way? How? Tell us your story.